Secrets
by pandorabox82
Summary: Emily comes home to check on how her lover is doing, finding her lonely and hurting. Will she be able to convince her to leave the secrets of their past behind as they move into the future together?


Emily smiled as she peeked in the window of her lover's home. She had kept her vacation a secret from her lover, wanting to surprise her with a visit. They'd not seen each other in a very long time, and she missed the very sound of their breath. She only hoped that with this visit she could convince her that it was okay to reveal some secrets to the world.

Squaring her shoulders, she went back over to the front door and pressed the bell. Through the door, she could hear the soft strains of Chopin ring out, and she smiled at the fact that she had kept it that way. Emily had mentioned in passing that this was her favorite song, and she remembered, even after all these months.

"I'm coming!" she finally heard and Emily drew in a deep breath. Suddenly, with the prospect of seeing her in front of her, she was nervous, like a schoolgirl with her first crush. The door opened, and she stared into the grey-blue eyes of her sometimes lover, watching them widen in shock. "Emily!"

The sound of her name dropping from Erin's lips made her smile widely and she stepped forward to hug Erin tightly, tears stinging her eyes. "I'm home."

"Oh, my Emily, what brings you here?" she asked as she led her inside, locking the door behind them.

"I had to come see you. I heard about the Replicator case, how he almost took you from me. Clyde saw that I was no good in the office. He gave me some vacation time and I took the next flight here. I missed you."

Erin sighed lightly, and Emily pressed her lips against her delicate neck. "This is such a surprise, I wasn't expecting you." She seemed to stiffen in Emily's arms and for the first time, Emily wondered if this had been such a great idea after all.

"Erin, is everything all right?" she asked as she sat down on the couch. Her lover sat next to her, curling up against the arm of it and placing her feet in Emily's lap. It was a familiar, tender, gesture, and Emily began to rub her feet. She remembered to dig her thumbs into the arch of Erin's feet, knowing that she kept a lot of tension there.

"I haven't been well since the incident. I very nearly fell off the wagon. I had to take an extended leave from the office." Tears began to run down her cheeks. "And then you show up here and smile at me, and I feel so overwhelmed."

Emily nodded. She had felt much the same way after Doyle had almost destroyed her life. "I understand completely, Erin," she whispered, reaching up for one of her hands. Once Erin had clasped it, Emily brought it to the scar on her stomach. "It was why I had to leave so soon after I returned from the dead. I couldn't take it anymore."

Erin nodded solemnly as she met her eye. "I feel like I'm coming apart at the seams." Tilting her head to one side, Emily just looked at Erin, feeling her heart break. "Do you want to head up to bed?"

Emily nodded, even though she knew that there would be no sex that evening. She could read Erin's intent quite clearly, and she wondered if anyone else had bothered to look closer at her, to see the deep chasm of yearning that existed in her now. "I would love to be in your arms, Erin. Am I going to sleep in your room or the guest room while I'm here?"

For the first time, Erin really looked around at her surroundings, saw the bag on the floor, and she sighed with pleasure. "Our room, of course. Where else should you be?"

Quick tears prickled her eyes as she shrugged, slipping Erin's feet off her lap so that she could stand and hold her hand out to her lover. "Nowhere. I can think of nowhere else on Earth where I would want to be right now. May I take you to bed now?"

Erin nodded and clasped Emily's outstretched hand, letting her pull her up. Emily also took advantage of the momentum to pull Erin flush against her body, and was rewarded with a soft gasp before Erin kissed her gently. "I want to feel your body against mine."

"That can easily be arranged," Emily purred as she led Erin up the stairs to the bedroom. Once they were behind the door, she brought Erin over to the bed and then stopped her. "May I undress you?"

She nodded, and Emily smiled at her before leaning in to kiss her softly. Erin returned the kiss with a sweet hesitancy and Emily sighed against her lips before letting her hands slip down to the hem of Erin's light summer sweater and beginning to tug it up her torso. Once it was around her breasts, Erin lifted her arms, and Emily tugged it the rest of the way off, letting it fall to the floor.

"You should wear jeans more often," she whispered in Erin's ear as she fumbled with the button that held them closed.

"I do, now. I don't have to be in the office, so I can dress for myself. I've been wearing a lot of sweaters and jeans as I adjust to normalcy." The quiet words gave Emily pause and she pushed Erin away gently to look at her. Her eyes were wet with tears, and the sadness there hurt her heart. Reaching up, she swiped at her cheeks before hugging her tightly. "I couldn't be there any longer. It was stifling. And David didn't understand why I had to get away. He said I was a coward, that I couldn't let Curtis win like that."

Erin burst into sobs and all Emily could do was hold her. She couldn't even begin to fathom a response to those words, as anger warred with sorrow within her. "If Rossi was here right now, I would hit him for you. And not some pansy slap. I think I might even break his nose," she finally said, rubbing Erin's back gently, her fingers getting tangled in her bra.

"You can take it off. I'd rather if you did." Emily nodded, brushing her chin against Erin's shoulder as she did so. "Please."

She shuddered at the hurt in her lover's voice and quickly undid the two hooks and let it fall off her body as she pushed the jeans down her lover's hips. "I'm going to let you go for a moment, so that I can strip, too, okay?"

Erin nodded, sniffling a little as she let go of Emily and sat on the bed, looking up at her. Emily never took her eyes off her as she fairly shoved the buttons out of their holes and yanked her bra off. As those garments dropped, she unzipped her pants and let them pool at her feet as she hooked her thumbs into the band of her panties and rolled them down her hips.

When she was fully nude, she sat next to Erin and then wrapped her arm around her shoulders. "Emmy?"

"What, Erin?"

"Do you think I am a coward?"

"No." Her answer was short and quick, knowing that was what Erin needed to hear right then. "I ran, too. I left behind an entire life, became someone different, when Doyle was put away the first time. I came to you, and we butted heads."

"And that same passion flamed into something so much more," Erin murmured as she turned her face into Emily's chest.

"Something beautiful." Emily placed a tender kiss on the top of Erin's head. "Now, let's crawl beneath the covers, and you can tell me a little more about what secrets I missed out on hearing while I've been in London."

"All right." Erin quickly shed her panties before pulling back the sheet and slipping beneath. Emily quickly followed her, stretching out alongside her body. "I missed you," she whispered as she threaded their fingers together. "There were so many times that I wanted to call you, but I was certain that you were moving on without me. After all, I had ended up with Dave. And then, John decided that I had to pay for sins of the past, and I didn't want you to see me so weak, so helpless. He forced me to drink. Did anyone tell you that?"

"PG mentioned that he destroyed something precious to you."

"My sponsor said that it didn't count, that I didn't really fall off the wagon, but the cravings have nearly crippled me. I, I had to tell the woman I sponsor that I had let her down. She said that I hadn't, not really, but still, I feel like I have."

Emily stilled her words with a kiss. "You have disappointed no one. Look at me." Erin met her eye and sighed deeply. "I can only imagine that your friend told you that she has never had to be so brave. That you didn't deserve what happened to you. That when you are forced to do something against your will, it doesn't count. Oh, my sweet Erin." Emily found herself starting to cry and she closed her eyes, resting her forehead against Erin's as they sobbed together.

At some point, they fell asleep, and Emily woke up to Erin's lips caressing her face. "You're awake, finally," Erin murmured as she cupped her cheek and smiled softly at her.

"I feel a bit like Sleeping Beauty, being woken with a kiss." She blushed a little at Emily's words and Emily laughed lowly before leaning in and kissing her deeply. Feeling Erin moan against her lips, Emily decided to take control of the situation and flipped Erin onto her back, straddling her body and grinning down on her.

Erin shook her head as she smiled. There was something soft and lovely about her this morning, and Emily leaned down and pecked at her lips delicately. Erin tried to press back, but she shook her head and then pressed her lips quickly to Erin's nose. "So this is the game this morning," Erin whispered, relaxing on the bed.

"Yes." She began to press soft kisses along Erin's face, mapping out her features once more. "It has been thirteen long months since I've tasted your skin, smelled your perfume, felt your body move beneath mine. I am going to take my time this morning and rediscover all the secret places that I love on you."

Erin let out a satisfied sigh and nodded, her eyes fluttering closed as Emily dragged her lips down her neck. Already, her pulse had picked up and Emily found anticipation building her stomach. She had to mentally rein herself in, as she wanted to devour her lover right there. Instead of traveling down her chest and focusing on her breasts, Emily trailed down her arm, taking time to relish in the feel of her skin as she reached her hand. Snaking her tongue out, she lapped at her palm.

Erin curled her hand around Emily's mouth, her fingers tightening as she continued to lick and lap. "I think I found a new erogenous spot on you, Rin," she mumbled against her fingers before she began to kiss up the inside of her arm. Frowning a little when her lips encountered scar tissue, she pulled back slightly to look at the spot. "Who hurt you?" she asked as she traced the infinity scar with her thumb.

"John."

"We match now." Emily tugged Erin's hand to the shamrock brand on her breast. "We're a perfect set." Erin began to cry as she nodded and Emily pressed several sweet kisses to the scar before moving to her chest and kissing her breasts. Erin's fingers quickly became tangled in her hair and Emily smiled as she licked at the nipple closest to her mouth, flicking it with her tongue before closing her lips around it and suckling. She knew Erin loved it when she did that, and she dragged her free hand down Erin's body to find her legs parted already, her hips arching up into her hand.

"More, Emmy," she panted out, and Emily nodded, fitting her hand around Erin's vulva, feeling the heat that radiated from her. Erin ground against her hand and she smiled, slipping her fingers between her labia and gently fitted them inside her tight channel. She hadn't forgotten what it felt like to have Erin tighten around her, but the sensation still made her feel like she was going to climax right then and there.

Erin's little coos and moans drove Emily wild, causing her to speed up the way she scissored her fingers, driving Erin closer and closer to orgasm. Once she felt that she was close, she let go of her breast and captured Erin's lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing the sharp scream that tore from her lover's throat as she orgasmed. Together, they collapsed back on the bed and Emily listened to the harsh sound of their breathing.

And then, Erin was clasping her hand tightly, and somehow she knew that her lover was crying once more. "Thank you. I love you."

The words caused Emily to hold her breath for a moment as she turned to look at Erin. "I'm sorry?"

"I love you." Her expression became closed, guarded, as Emily fell silent, her eyes darting away from hers, her jaw tightening. She tried to draw her hand back, but Emily wouldn't let her go. "You can leave at any time. I don't want to hold you here, too."

"Erin Strauss, you can be quiet at any time," she replied hotly, frowning at her. "I don't just jump in and blurt out my feelings. You didn't do that either, before John hurt you. If you had given me a moment to process, I would have done this."

Cupping the back of her head with her hand, Emily tugged her close and gave her a bruising kiss. She tried to pour into it all the passion and desire and care that she felt for the woman, and Erin was soon responding to the kiss. When they broke apart, there were tears in Erin's eyes and she reached up to wipe them away. "And then, I would have told you this – I love you, too. Run away with me?"

"To where?"

"London. Start over with me."

A shy, tender, smile crept over her face as she dipped her chin down to her chest. "Do you really want me to live with you?"

"Yes. And I bet I can twist Clyde's arm and get you a job, if that's what you want." She tweaked Erin's nose gently and then kissed her forehead. "Do you have an answer for me?"

Erin reached up and traced the shamrock brand a few times as she nodded. "Yes. It is high time I left the secrets of my past behind and started with a clean slate." She nuzzled closer to her and let go of her hand so that she could drape her arm over her waist. A tender silence fell over the room as they just looked at each other, smiles spreading over their faces.

A soft knocking on the bedroom door a half hour later interrupted their idyll, and Erin tugged the covers up under her arms, covering her nudity. "Yes, Tabby?"

"It's almost lunchtime. Are you decent?"

"Sort of, peanut. Come on in."

Emily had never gotten the chance to meet Erin's children, but when the girl stepped into the room, she knew that she would have recognized her at once. She was a perfect reflection of her mother, with the same blonde hair, the same grey-blue eyes, and the same smile. "Hello, Emily. Don't look so shocked, you and Mama were never very good at being quiet, and my room is right next door. David called for you again, and I told him you were still sleeping. I'm afraid he's on his way here."

"That's okay, Tabby. He might as well be the first one to know, well, after you, peanut."

"Know what, Mama?" Tabby sat on the foot of the bed, staring at them.

"I've made a decision, one that will move me forward in my life. I've been a little stagnant, you know." Tabby nodded. "Well, Emily has offered me a new place to settle. I'm going home with her. And now you have a decision to make."

"Wait, Emily lives in London, right? Because if you're asking if I want to come with you, the answer is yes! That is, if you want a teenager living with you, too, Emily."

She hadn't thought about Erin's children, but found that she didn't mind the idea of Tabitha joining them. "That would be lovely. The flat has an extra bedroom, after all."

Tabitha squealed in pleasure as she pounced on her mother, enfolding her in a tight hug. "This is going to be wonderful! Can I tell anyone, or do I have to keep it a secret for right now?"

Erin looked at Emily, and she just shrugged, a smile dancing on her lips. "There is no more room for secrets in my heart, Tabitha. Tell anyone you'd like."

Tabitha nodded and then kissed her mother's cheek before scurrying from the room. "You know it's going to end up on Facebook in about thirty seconds."

"I don't really care, Emmy. My, our, course is set from here on out. If anyone has a problem with that, well, then, too bad." She leaned in and kissed Emily softly before slipping from the bed and sashaying over to her dresser, pulling out fresh underwear. "You'd best get dressed. If David is really on his way over, it wouldn't do for him to find us in a compromising position."

As Emily watched, Erin quickly dressed, choosing a long, flowing, skirt and pale pink peasant top. It was such a carefree outfit, something that fit the spontaneity of the Erin she knew behind closed doors, that she couldn't help be stalk over to her side and press kisses to her bare shoulders. "You look delicious, Erin."

"And we don't have time for that right now, Emmy. Get dressed, I'll meet you downstairs." Erin turned in her arms and pressed her lips to Emily's. "Don't make me wait, darling."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Erin." Emily kissed her once more before letting go of her and watching her waltz from the room. Erin was right, the time for secrets was over, and she couldn't wait to see what blossomed between them in London.


End file.
